Listen, obey, and respect.

Today was a difficult day in terms of behavior. I was redirecting, prompting, and disciplining for 7 hours! It was the most frustrating day I have had. I can't stop crying, and of course insomnia kicks. I stress ate a bag of lays, and not a 99cent bag size. Some days are good, others are the kind that make me question why did I get out of bed.

Tonight I did my best to clearly define consequences for my childs actions. A few of the behaviors today escalated and I had to use punishment as a tactic. It is my least favorite behavioral intervention, but when my son challenged me and thought I wouldn't go through with it I followed through. I clearly defined the problem behavior, and the consequence if the behavior continued. Guess what? Mommy 1, Kid 0. I don't make threats. I follow through every time with consequences. If you don't follow through your child will never take you seriously, and you lose respect.

I do a lot of ABA, applied behavior analysis to evaluate  Antecedents, Behaviors, and Consequences . The antecedent is the trigger, or environment change that happens prior to the behavior. The behavior is the action, or what the individual does. Last but not least the consequence, which follows the behavior. Using this model to evaluate my childs behavior helps me understand why the behavior is occurring.

My childs go to behavior is the escape (or avoidance) behavior. Making excuses like I have to go to the bathroom while doing homework. Another one I contend with is my child saying he completed a task so he gets the (positive consequence) reward to go outside and do a preferred activity. By doing this he is obtaining tangible items and gaining access to a desired activity.

Other functions of behaviors are seeking social attention. The individual tries to engage another party in an activity involving socialization. Sensory stimulation is the last function of behavior. The individual engages in self-stimulating or internally pleasing behaviors,and by doing so the individual ignores or removes the externally displeasing sensation.

Today I just could not handle another episode. I know that he wants me to validate his feelings and emotions, but when they are totally irrational and irrelevant I just want to flip shit. I had to walk away from him. When he followed me I just broke down and cried.  I used the Listen, Obey, and Respect line. "You will listen to me, you will obey me, and you will respect me." It was all I could say, because anything else would have just set me off.

I can not wrap my head around how I am going to evaluate this behavior and extinguish it. I just don't know how to not lose my shit during this one particular behavior. It is hard to talk about it at support groups, because the schools staff and other parents who know my child attend the meetings. It is the one behavior that sets me over the edge. It is difficult not to crack or break down when he does it. I show my weakness when he does it, and that is what bothers me the most.

I know this is something I have to nip it in the butt now. It has been something that has been going on for at least one year now. Nobody has ever acknowledged the behavior or given me any advice on how to curb it. He has done this in front of therapists, and they have not ever intervened when it occurs. I honestly would not be insulted if someone did intervene.

If you have any advice please advise! I am losing my sanity over this.
Thanks for reading!